JAY VERSLUIS, Artist » Crisp Packets

Walker’s German Bratwurst Sausage Flavour

Jay Versluis — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 19:20:08 +0000

OK this one makes me feel a little bit home sick actually… sniff! Spot the deliberate grammatical mistake though: “wurst” already means “sausage” (or “turd”, depending on the context).

Not my favourite flavour of the bunch, even though Julia loves it to bits and has already voted for it. Did I mention you can do that for free via text message? Yes yes yes – all sponsored by O2.

Anyway my verdict is 32 thumbs up – it is a nice crisp flavour, and it is fairly authentic compared to the real thing (i.e. Bratwurst).

Could do with a hint of mustard I reckon.

Here are all the packets we’ve found so far:

[View as extremely swish slideshow]

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Walker’s American Cheeseburger Flavour

Jay Versluis — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 17:38:14 +0000

Walker’s have done it again: create a range of brand new Limited Edition flavours just in time for the World Cup Football Qualifiers. And what would this series be without them?

We discovered 8 flavours at the Oxford Service Station and we’ll give you a rundown of them all. To kick off this leg of the series, we’ll begin with American Cheeseburger Flavour.

Seriously, I haven’t got a clue what’s going on in that flavour lab – but this is by far the most authentic taste I have ever had. Not the taste of potato of course, but of real cheeseburger.

If you ever had Johnny Rocket’s burgers in the US, this is what it tastes like.

Even though Julia disagrees, for me this one gets 47 thumbs up for authenticity. Which isn’t to say that this is what I want out of a crisp all the time.

Bring on the next packet: German Bratwurst Flavour

Walker's Cheese and Onion, 120g bag (2009)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:19:28 +0000

Party on with this enourmous amount of crisps that’ll feed an entire army!

Then, put the bag in a frame and admire some artwork.

Amazing what you get for 99p these days!

Calbee Tomato Wave Cut Chips – back (2008)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 04:46:18 +0000

More clues here:

we learn how Potato-San oversees the production process, and we find indeed that these are “Premium Potato Chips with Delicious Tomato Sauce”. Yumm… I guess.

We also find that there might be more where this came from at www.calbee.com.hk (it’s here all the way from Hong Kong).

Supposedly made on New Year’s Eve 2008, we also read a warning: “Produced in a factory where crustacean, egg, fish, peanuts and not products are also handled” – possibly even computer parts and LCD screens and cheap DVDs!

Verdict: You got to diversify if you want to survive the global credit crunch!

Calbee Tomato Wave Cut Chips – front (2008)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 04:08:18 +0000

Whoa, what have we here?

I found this on the street in Haringey the other day, the only English words I can make out are what it says in the title, plus that there’s 55g in the bag.

The little mascot at the bottom has a “potato” ribbon on him. This bag reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart go to a rubbish dump and find a box with Homer’s face on it – the rest is in Japanese.

Strangely compelling, we thought it best to give you the full picture and scan the back side as well…

Walkers' Smoky Bacon Flavour – Big Eat Edition (2009, sunbathed)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:38:05 +0000

Here’s a great example of what happens with a crisp bag when it’s been out in the sun too long.

As it takes about 500 million years for a foil bag to completely disintegrate, sunlight is responsible for doing this job. Obviously, buried under a huge pile of garbage in a landfill, that’s no use, but I suppose that if you give it time, EVERYTHING is biodgarable. We just need to wait for the next big bang, and we should be sorted.

I found this bag on my way from work, so it’s taken in situ and left there.

Rest in piece, Bacon Flavour!

Phileas Fogg: Irish Cheddar with Onion Chutney Flavour (2009)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:05:17 +0000

Notice the word CRISPS in big letters on the packet. Apparnetly, it could be DEAD RATS or TIRES in there too, so I’m glad they’ve mentioned it.

In Phileas’ defence, they also make TORTILLAS and PUPPODUMS, so no offence taken.

Greta flavour this one, with 38g in the bag.

Verdict: Nicely different

Walker's Squares – Cheese and Onion Flavour (2009)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:28:22 +0000

The seasoning is the same as on their crisps, but this time, they’re square! Oh my god!

Is this Walker’s answer to Pringle’s? fact is, they’re made from dried powder rather than cut potatoes (as you may have guessed).

You only get a taste of 25g – it’s rationing time again, dear!

Verdict: we dont’ understand

Doritos: Hint of Lime Flavour (2009)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:51:32 +0000

Now who could resist Doritos in this extravagant flavour introduced sometime last year? Get dipping with this 225g bag, and win yourselves a flight to Vegas with Virgin Atlantic.

Or enter the Doritos Dodgeball challenge at www.doritos.co.uk and get one of those red fluffy balls you don’t want to play with.

Monster Munch: Pickled Onion Flavour (2009)

Jay Versluis — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:19:21 +0000

Featuring a different monster on each bag, the flavours of Monster Munch are as varied as the entertainment on the back of this 40g bag. Sadly, this one makes you want to weep.

Verdict: cheap vinegar by the pint gives you the same feeling.