I’ve learnt a lot since this article went up – including how to do this properly. This article is left here for historic purposes. Read how to upgrade PHP on CentOS 5 on my other site The WordPress Guru
Original Article:
An account of events – not dramatized
yesterday, 09:12
Idea:
The need for amazing shopping cart software arises. Decided to install CRE Loaded on my website. Tried it a year ago, didn’t work. Better luck this time.
11:23
Installed the package, but found that minimum requirement is PHP 5.2.x – I have an older version. Hm. Must upgrade. What a challenge.
11:37
Huge Google search for “how to upgrade PHP on CentOS 5” brings up 90 million articles, all about something different than my question. Currently don’t’ even know what the hell a SSH connection is or what it stands for
12:08
Through sheer luck stumbled onto option to access my server via SSH. Feel very confident now that I can execute command line things and poke around professionally
12:27
Found that upgrading PHP is only possible using something funky called YUM. Must install that first.
13:01
Another Google search begins – WTF is YUM and why do I need it?
13:44
Stopped asking questions. Determined to get this going.
the next day, 17:55
Excited to have found this list – a detailed account of how to do it. Of course, the 10000 characters cannot be copied and pasted – just to drive us all completely nuts
18:37
Tried it. Doesn’t work. Pissed off with all things internet now. Giving up in search for another solution.
CONCLUSION:
pHP on CentOS can’t be upgraded by human beings. And if it can, I never met one of them. Just like Lottery winners. Time to find a different hobby, maybe connected to the outdoors. Hacking wood or drive-by shooting pigeons maybe.
