Tag Archives: money off

Top 10 Marketing Tips from Internet Gurus

pound-sign

It constantly amuses me that all internet marketing gurus are so very very rich, yet they find nothing better to do with their time than to sell us how they did it.

Haven’t you got a yacht to ride, a beach to sip cocktails at or blackjack tables that needs your attention?

Here’s what I’ve picked up from surfing too many websites, all the ever-so-wise tips they give you, condensed in one handy list:

  1. Visit my website. Then buy all my products/workshops/stuff (so I make money)
  2. Read my Blog, which links to my website – where you can buy all my products/workshops/stuff (so I make money)
  3. Be my friend on Twitter/Facebook/Myspace, where I’ll shamelessly plug all my products/workshops/stuff you should buy (so I make money)
  4. Sign up to my Newsletter, where I’ll shamelessly plug all my products/workshops/stuff you should buy (so I make money)
  5. Sign up YOUR FRIENDS to my newsletter too. Not only will I spam them senseless, I’ll also sell their email addresses (and make money)
  6. Buy somebody else’s product I’m promoting, which I’ve got NOTHING to do with or care about  (but when you buy it, I get money)
  7. Click on every annoying and disruptive advert on my site (so I get money)
  8. Tell people about my site, so YOU can make money (although I’ll make MORE money)
  9. Use this discount voucher for (insert product here). Note: you have to spend over £200 to use it (in which case, I’ll get money)
  10. Ah hell JUST GIVE ME MONEY

Sales Cheaters’ Strategy

We’ve all been there one time or another: we check our mail, and receive some “super dooper” sales offer. We get 30% off certain products, but you have to HURRY, because the SALE ENDS SOON – usually within a week or two.

So fine, we decide the offer is good, we want the product, we respond to the offer, we make our purchase, and we’re happy. For a week. Until the NEXT sale comes along!

And this is what I call the Sales Cheaters’ Strategy or SCS. There’s nothing wrong with a sale as such – but cheating people out of the money that the first batch of suckers didn’t throw at the offer within the stated period, now that’s just plain bullshit,

Because only a few days later, the VERY SAME company writes that NOW there’s an even BETTER sale on – and this time, we can save 50% instead of 30. This wouldn’t be so bad if we could just get the extra bit of discount as a refund – but none of the companies I’ve ever dealt with (and have been cheated by) would ever dream of doing that.

Did I feel stupid when that second sale came along. I had this with Content Paradise, a company selling 3D software and content, and I also had this with Capital One in regards to some “amazing balance transfer deal”. Mind you, I had these troubles having been a very happy customer for some time. I am so sick and tired of companies wilfully employing the Sales Cheaters’ Strategy that I think we should name them all and put them to shame where they belong. Why can’t everybody lower their prices and give us “good deals all year round”, like Comet do?

Let’s put a list together and boycott those bastards in the future! Or let’s boycott sales full stop.